Two simple steps to coming out of your shell

This summer, as part of the #SummerOfAwesome campaign, Denise and I are encouraging our readers (and ourselves) to step out of our comfort zones and set and accomplish small, meaningful, achievable goals.

The first goal of the summer is to come out of your shell. (See what I did there…summer…beach…shell? Lol)

If you’re one of those people who can easily start a conversation and chat up perfect strangers and walk away with a new friend, then more power to you. Carry on.

But if you’re like the rest of us, sometimes it’s easy, sometimes not so much. Sometimes maybe you just don’t *feel* like it. Or maybe for the very introverted, it’s always uncomfortable.

Well, we promised getting out of our comfort zones and that’s what we’re going to do.

So, starting today, we’re going to begin to come out of our shells.

For some that may seem scary. Perhaps you’re not used to chatting with people. Or perhaps you live in a part of the country or the world in which the tradition is not to be outwardly friendly and talkative.

Well, to hell with all of that. Human beings are social creatures and are also flexible enough to accept some human interaction. Honestly, we need it.

But what if they think you’re just a crazy person? Oh, perhaps they will. But you know you’re just making small attempts at chatting up a fellow human being, and that’s all that matters. Or what if you fumble your words and fall all over yourself? Well, I’m here to say that happens to the best of us, and most people have been there, too, and probably don’t think much of it.

So here’s how we’re going to do it, in two simple steps…

1. Learn how to work a room

Certainly you’ve heard of this concept before. Working a room. Here’s how…

• Walk into a room, with your head held high. That’s right, held high. Not looking at the ground or the ceiling.
• Make eye contact with people.
• When you make eye contact, smile and say, “Hi.”

There you go. That’s it. How to work a room. That being said, the secret is actually doing it. Whether you want to or not. Whether you’re comfortable doing it or not.

But here’s the thing. The more you do it, the more comfortable you will get with doing it, and the more second nature it will become. You will soon find yourself working the room everywhere you go – the grocery store, at work, parties, everywhere!

A word of caution…do not allow moods or slumps to derail you from working a room. I completely get that when you’re feeling kind of slumpy, it’s damn near annoying to connect with others, but this only perpetuates the slump. Force yourself to do it anyway. You’ll feel better, I promise.

2. Every time you have a natural stopping point, chat someone up

So you’re out there working whatever room you’re in. Then, every time you have a natural stopping point, start chatting – like at the checkout at the grocery, with your server at a restaurant, standing in line at the DMV or the coffee shop, at the bar at a party or wedding, wherever you naturally stop and stand or sit still for a bit.

But what could I possibly talk about? Start with the weather. Or whatever your shared experience is (“This DMV line sure is taking forever…”), or just with a simple, “Hi. How are you?” Initially, your mind may draw a blank, but eventually the habit will be formed, the neural connections made in your brain, and you’ll have more conversation starters at the ready.

Be prepared for all manner of responses, from no response to someone who wants to tell you their entire life story. Don’t take any of it personally. Just make the connection.

Before you know it, it will begin to become second nature and you’ll notice yourself feeling more and more comfortable with engaging others. (Ask me how I know! I’m something of a natural introvert myself.) Plus the more you do it, the more you’ll be able to see which conversation starters work well, and you can keep those in your repertoire at the ready.

See? Two simple steps…how hard can it be? The hardest part is starting, and you’re completely in control of that.

Now get out there and chat someone up! Today and every day after this.

Come out of your shell!

See? It’s going to be a #SummerOfAwesome!