Be your own hero

So many of us, women especially, are socialized to believe that someone else will complete us. Will fix us. Will correct everything that needs fixing in our lives.

For women, so many of us are waiting for our knight in shining armor to sweep us off our feet and take care of our every need. I’d even hazard a guess that the stronger, more independent amongst us still have a bit of that fantasy buried somewhere in our psyches.

For men, it’s the perfect princess, who will be your everything and meet your every need.

Cue the needle scratching across the record sound effect. Because it doesn’t always work that way. Real life happens.

What if the knight in shining armor never appears? What if he appeared but his armor’s tarnished and a little rusty and tight around the waistline? What if the man inside the armor isn’t as brave or as wonderful as we had hoped?

And what if the princess isn’t so perfect? What if she’s plain and maybe even a little boring? What if she’s more portly than princess after cranking out a couple of kids? Or what if you just never stumble upon her?

Ah, this is the stuff that disappointment is made of. And bitterness. Maybe even anger and depression.

All because of expectations. The expectation that someone else was going to come handle all of life’s problems for you. Or with you. But that’s not always the way life unfolds.

Broken dreams and unmanaged expectations.

And it hurts.

Trust me, I’ve been there. Recently. You think, maybe, just this once, all the planets will align and things will be perfect. Maybe someone wonderful will waltz in and take away all of my loneliness and take care of my financial issues and repair my car and my roof and generally fix all of my problems. Almost like winning the lottery. And then you finally wake up and come to the realization that your knight in shining armor is not coming.

This is not an ideology I set out to believe in. But it’s programmed into us from a very young age. From Disney movies to songs on the radio. Encouraging us to look outside of ourselves to someone else to fix everything. To fix us.

But guess what? We don’t need fixing. We’re fine just the way we are. We just need to see that in ourselves. See the beauty in ourselves. We need to be our own hero.

As for fixing everything else that needs fixing in life, well, as soon as one thing gets fixed, another is likely to break, so it’s just a matter of determining what we have the skills to handle ourselves and when we need to call in a professional. From a plumber to a therapist to a business coach. When in doubt, hire a professional.

But otherwise, begin the journey of being your own hero.

This doesn’t mean that you can’t have other people in your life. Hardly the case. It’s more that your life is so very lovely and special. Entrust yourself with that one precious commodity. Don’t wait for someone else to handle it for you.