Over the years, I’ve felt like I’ve shouldered a lot of burdens.
This was especially the case when I became a single mom. The financial burden of raising two kids primarily on my own, which grew exponentially when my oldest went to college with only she and I footing the bill, she with loans and the rest falling on me. Then there’s the pressure of feeling that you have to be perfect at your job – a super top performer – because you’re carrying the financial responsibility for yourself and two kids.
Add to that the loneliness of having very few people to confide in when your co-parent isn’t the type of person you can turn to when you need to talk about how the kids are doing or when something goes wrong.
Of course carrying this responsibility has been what I’ve wanted to do for my kids – the right thing to do for them – and honestly, the only way I could look myself in the mirror is to have done the things that I’ve done to keep my family afloat, both financially and emotionally. But a lot of pressure, nonetheless.
Today, a very wise friend suggested a different way of looking at things that turned my whole perception on its ear. She suggested that I consider it a privilege to have provided for my children in this way, a privilege to have been the sole supporter of my daughter’s education, and most importantly, a privilege to have developed the close emotional bond I have with my kids because I’ve provided for them in this way.
Well, now that was a light bulb moment!
Suddenly the lights went on and I realized that it has been a privilege to provide for them and I would have never had it any other way. And I can stand tall and be proud of the fact that I have provided my children the home that has given them a soft place to land, the food that has sustained them, the love that has nurtured them, the structure that has given them boundaries, and the education that has expanded their world and prepared them for adulthood. All of these things have grown them into the amazing human beings they are today.
That is no small feat, and yes, it has been a privilege.
Is there a burden you’ve been carrying that can lighten into a privilege?
I feel you, I get you and I thank you for the lightbulb, as well. It has been the most daunting, yet, rewarding privlage of my life to raise my kids on my own. I agree, they are better people bc of it and we will always cherish those moments when we figured it out together. I don’t regret any of it bc I wouldn’t have them if I had ventured down a different road. Blessings!
Megan, I love what you said about figuring it out together! That is one of the beautiful privileges…working together with your kids to get the day-to-day life issues worked out!
I appreciate you really putting yourself out there. Thank you.
Thanks, Dee!