Most of us have some sort of baggage. Chances are, if you’re an adult, you have baggage. If you’re a middle-aged or older adult, you probably have more baggage. Some may even have more than their fair share.
Our small and large hurts in life come to define us in many ways. They inform our decisions about how we want to live our lives and about how we look at others and how we interact with others and how we expect others will treat us.
But do you really want to let your baggage define you? Do you really want to let all of those old hurts from the past – no matter how serious or deep – do you really want to let them dictate to you how live your life? How much joy you allow into your heart?
Some of you will you are probably sitting back in your chair right now, shouting a resounding “No!” inside your head. While others are probably clicking the “x” at the top of the page right now to close your browser.
There are going to be people who are going to continue to hold on to all of their hurts for their entire lifetime. And it is their right to do so. Some people have been hurt so deeply that they can’t imagine the nakedness of shedding that pain. Because sometimes the loneliness of stepping away from the familiarity of those hurts can be scarier than continuing to live side by side with those hurts.
But honestly, our lives will be so much better, so much richer if we just shed the skin of pain that holds us back.
I know what I’m talking about here, people. I’ve had my share of hurts, losses, and disappointments. Some small, some large, and some devastating and life altering.
So I realize that sometimes it may feel more comforting for people to learn your story. People connect to our sad stories. They feel for us. They see how much we’ve been through when they hear our story and then they can truly tell just how much we’ve been through and how successful we are at pulling ourselves through the bad times and the sad times. Or how we still have that lingering sadness in our hearts because of something awful we’ve been through. They feel our pain and look at us with compassion and even feel sorry for us because of all we’ve been through. And somehow that validates us.
I get it. I’ve been there. I have to fight against this, because honestly, it holds me down. I’m fighting the urge right now to give you the laundry list of my painful life experiences, so that you truly understand that I know what I’m talking about. I think we all have to the capacity to slide down this slippery slope. Believe me, I go on a downward spiral from time to time.
But I always come back to the same touch stone…is this the way I want to live my life? Do I really want to live a life in which others pity me? Are those the people I want to attract in my life? Do I want to let sadness define me?
The answer is always a resounding “No!”
I want to live a full life, a life full of joy and strength, a life filled with people who can be open and share emotion, sure, but who have the strength to endure life’s difficulties and not let those painful times devastate them for the rest of their lives.
I want to live a life in which I can cast off the burdens that weigh me down and still find joy in the fact that I woke up this morning.
I want to rid myself of the ego that tells me that people can relate to the sadness in my life.
I want to choose the side that puts down the hurts and runs toward life and embraces it for the gift that it is.
I want to put down my sword and stop fighting to hold on to the pain in my life.
This is no small feat. It’s a decision you will have to make again and again, day after day after day. And it will be so very tempting to slip back into old habits.
It won’t be easy, and you may need help (sometimes even professional help). You may even lose friends and loved ones over this, but what you will gain will be so much greater and more powerful.
You will gain strength and you will grow into an amazing human being. Because making this choice is genuinely life changing.
This truly is the fight between good and evil. Choose your side.