Recently I went through a situation that left me feeling disappointed. Things didn’t go as I had planned and it left me standing there holding the bag, wondering what went wrong.
No need to get into the details of the situation, because it could have been any disappointment really. We all experience disappointments and let downs in our lives. Sometimes a lot of them.
As I was sitting around wondering what the hell had happened, I realized that I had been participating in a whole bunch of if/then thinking. If this situation goes well, then I’ll be happy. If things unfold as I had hoped or planned, then my life would be going great.
Um. Yeah. Right.
It was then that I realized that this disappointment was probably the best thing that ever happened to me.
How could something so disappointing become so gratifying? So life changing?
Because it made me realize that I had been putting all of my hope and power into that one transient situation. If only. (And if we’re being honest with ourselves, aren’t all situations transient to some degree or another?)
If only.
It was then that the clouds opened up, the sun shone through, and I realized that I need to make my life awesome and wonderful without depending on these other situations. I need to fill my days doing things that I enjoy or even love and fill my world with people whom I enjoy or even love.
Not that some of those things can’t be transient situations as well, but where I’m going with this is that I need to rely on me to create the life that I want, not just wait for other situations or people to walk into my life, take my hand, and lead me down the path to my perfect life.
I need to create the joy in my own life and not depend on others to waltz in and take over that role. And then when other people and situations do come into my life and bring additional joy, that will be the icing on the cake. But even without the icing, the cake tastes pretty damn good if I’m the one baking up my one awesome life.
So let’s toss out the if/then thinking and each of us individually create a wonderful life for ourselves. Let the clouds open up and the sun shine through in your world. It might be the best thing that ever happens to you.
Happy Thanksgiving. I am getting better at enjoying the moment and surrounding myself with people and activities that I enjoy. Iam also very guilty of IF then statements. Definitely like the idea of creating your own happiness and that when additional situations and people come into your life it’s icing on the cake. I have found that it takes more energy to be negative or self doubting then it does to do things that make you happy and surround yourself with people that make you happy and inspire you. I have also found that when I simply make kind gestures or do not react to people who are negative or having their own inner conflict that I am much more at peace then when I react, expect things in return or recognition.
I really enjoy your blog. Please continue writing, your articles are a source of unexpected inspiration in my day!!
Biljana, I think that many of us slip into if/then thinking from time to time.
Thank you so much for reading our blog. Denise and I are always overwhelmed to hear that we inspire others by sharing our thoughts and experiences.
And Happy Thanksgiving to you too!