This weekend I really hit the wall. Maybe it was just a phase, or maybe it was sheer exhaustion, because I’ve been burning the candle at both ends for a while. I don’t know what caused it, but I completely lost my direction. No idea what my next move was, no idea about what I want to do, no inspiration, no nothing. Just confusion.
As a creative, I tend to cycle through interests in different projects. And of late, I’ve learned to honor that. More than one person has advised me that I should just focus on one thing, but that’s just not how I’m wired. So I have multiple projects going at one time, moving ahead a little on each project. Probably not the most efficient way to do things because everything moves along a little slower, but it’s the most effective for me. Because then I’m working through inspired action, rather than just phoning it in.
Every now and then I lose my way. And I despise how it feels. Frustration of the highest order, almost to the point where I feel it physically in my body. Emptiness.
I think what bothers me most is the underlying fear that I’ll never figure it out and won’t get back on track.
This weekend I decided to let it ride and just feel the feels, wherever it took me. Then I went about my business, mostly running around, but resting and relaxing when I wasn’t out driving here and there.
Today I took my son back to college after spring break. When I got home I took a quick snooze, and an idea popped into my head. An idea for an online class.
Suddenly the clouds parted and the angels sang. A creative idea! Hurray! And just as quickly as the confusion arrived, I was back on track, with ideas tumbling out of the heavens and into my head.
What did it all mean, and why did I slip into this patch of confusion and emptiness?
No. Idea.
I think the lesson is not why it all happened, but rather the importance of riding it out and trusting that this too shall pass. Because it did. And it likely will the next time too, and the time after that. Sometimes we just need to recharge our batteries and that’s not the end of the world.
Lost, then found. Like magic. The magic of the universe.