So many of us feel that we need to solve every one of our problems ourselves. Alone. Without help, without input. Even when we’re stuck and don’t have answers.
Some of that comes from observing cynical, judgmental people. Or maybe even being that way ourselves. It’s only logical that we wouldn’t want to share our concerns and our innermost selves with people who are only going to judge or make us feel badly.
But some problems are difficult to solve on our own. Especially if we aren’t experts in the field of our problem.
It’s OK to ask for help.
Recently I’ve been struggling at the gym. Or perhaps I should say that I’ve been struggling to get to the gym. For a handful of reasons. Feeling stiff and achy, fell off the clean eating wagon, work stress, back problems on occasion, not having or making the time, and then feeling intimidated by the workouts as my fitness level declines. While I know this isn’t a problem of epic proportions, it is one that has the potential to create a downward spiral – I need to stay strong and fit or my health begins to slide.
Just so happens that the owner of my gym sent me an email to say he hadn’t seen me and wanted to see how I was doing. He opened the door.
And I decided to take a risk and walk through.
What’s the big deal you ask? Um, crossfit is the big deal and there’s no whining in crossfit! So I was afraid of being deemed whiny, especially since I’m not particularly good at crossfit.
But I realized that this was my opportunity to share my concerns – my problem, if you will – and maybe get a different perspective.
I was not disappointed. His response was kindhearted and helpful, saying that it’s not easy to combat all of these factors alone and that sometimes it’s easier to brainstorm with someone else. So we’re going to get together and talk through this.
That’s right. Sometimes it is easier to brainstorm with someone else.
This exchange made me realize several things.
- I go to a great gym with a gym owner who is truly a wonderful human being!
- These are the kind of people we should be reaching out to for help in our lives – kindhearted, compassionate people who are willing to walk with you through the tough moments in life.
- If we find ourselves in a situation filled with critical, cynical people, maybe it’s time to look elsewhere for new people in our lives who are willing to help you and listen with a kind and open heart. I know this isn’t as easy as it sounds, because this may pertain to friends, family, or co-workers.
So when you have a problem, test the waters and see if you can find someone who is willing to help. Because sometimes it helps to brainstorm a problem with someone else who can give you a fresh perspective. You don’t have to do it alone.