There is a happiness myth that I’ve noticed, both in my own life and in the lives of others.
The myth goes something like this. I should be happy because [complete sentence with your special reason].
Such as, I should be happy because I’m older or because I’ve suffered enough already or because I’ve paid my dues or because I deserve it. Or whatever other millions of ways we complete that sentence.
Conditional happiness.
No matter how we complete that sentence, it is a myth. Happiness is not a system of chits. You do “x” and you will receive a certain number of happiness points.
Nope.
Happiness is far more elusive than that.
In fact, what the happiness myth creates is bitterness when you still continue to struggle with problems, despite all of your deserving qualities. I should be happy now, because I’ve done so much to deserve it.
Or, I would be happy if only…
If only my ex wasn’t effed up. If only I made more money. If only my kids respected me more. If only I found a new job. If only.
Well, people, hate to have to say it, but I’m calling you on your bullshit. And on my own for that matter.
The reason that happiness is elusive is because you have to seek it out and find it despite all the crap that life throws your way.
Problems are like the great baseball pitching machine of life. They’re gonna keep coming at you whether you attempt to hit the ball or not.
Some problems are going to be small, while others are going to be giant. And painful. Some will be devastating. Some may make you sad and depressed, and some may even leave you needing professional help.
But no matter how large or small the problem, don’t kid yourself into thinking that you will only be happy when you put a particular problem to rest. Because there are plenty more where that came from, and they will continue to be thrown out of that problem pitching machine. No matter what.
The goal is to experience joy and happiness in spite of your problems.
When you begin to master that, then magically your problems will seem a lot less daunting.