There comes a time in every person’s life when we reach a turning point. A moment in time when we can no longer continue on the path we are on. Whether it’s about a job or a relationship or finances or some other thing not covered in those categories. There’s just no way to force ourselves to continue in the way we have been existing up to this point.
That point at which we feel we’ve reached critical mass and maybe even aren’t sure how to proceed. Which direction to travel. We know that something needs to shift – in fact we may feel that something needs to shift dramatically – and yet we may not know how to unravel what really needs to change. Do we just keep hacking away at the issue, the way we always have? Probably not.
In some cases the only thing that can shift or that needs to shift may be our perspective. But how? That’s often where we struggle.
There are all kinds of platitudes we could throw at this about building our own lives, blah, blah, blah, but what does that really mean? How do we wrap our arms around a situation that’s causing us confusion? How do we gain acceptance that something needs to change? How do we turn a corner?
Ask yourself a series of questions that will help you unravel the problem and hopefully find a solution.
1. What do you want for yourself?
Either in general, or specific to the problem at hand, what do you really want? It’s important to identify this answer or series of answers.
Once you identify what you want for yourself, ask yourself this…
2. Do you have what you identified in question #1, or do you have any part of it?
Identify if this is something that you have any part of, or if you’re starting from scratch. Be honest with yourself. Sometimes when we’re feeling down or confused (or both), it’s easy to pile on and do some all or nothing thinking. Don’t slip into that trap, especially when you’re trying hard to identify your needs.
Once you’ve asked yourself questions 1 and 2, ask yourself this…
3. Are these things that I really want in my life?
Do you really want these things? As in really, really want them, at all costs, above all else?
If yes, then continue with this process.
If no, ask yourself why then did you think you wanted them? Family or peer pressure? What you think society thinks you should have/be/do? The path of least resistance? Once you identify the reason or reasons, ask yourself if you really want to live your life for those other people or things and do you want to give that much power to them, or do you really want to figure out this thing called life and live it for yourself?
4. If you haven’t been doing or pursuing the things that you really want, why not?
Do you feel worthy of these things you want? If not, why not? When you meet people who in your head meet the description of having the things that you want, do you feel they are worthy? If not, why not? If so, why are they worthy, yet you are not worthy of the same? What makes them more worthy? (Hint…it’s probably in how you’re seeing yourself, because you are worthy!)
Are you putting up a wall between yourself and these things? If so, why? Perhaps it’s time to start taking down the wall, brick by brick, because you are worthy of living your very best life and living your dreams! Or hell, forget about the brick by brick approach – just smash through the damn thing!
So now, after going through these questions, this exercise in digging a bit deeper, ask yourself again…
5. What do you want in your life that will make you happy?
What do you need to begin to focus on that makes you happy? Not your family, not your friends, not society or society’s version of who you should be…you! Create a list. Then ask yourself do you have those things? Simple yes or no as your answers. No explanations, no beating around the bush, no weaseling out of an answer. Do you have them, yes or no?
Are your answers different than those you gave in #1? Maybe so…
So now that you have your list, and you have your answers on your list, answer this…
6. What are you going to do about it?
Are you going to take action? Please do. Don’t wait any longer. It’s your time. Turn the corner.
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your timing with this is impeccable
Thanks, Diane. I love it when the universe matches us up with what we need when we need it!